Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
