I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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