used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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