Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize