he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
