Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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