kristin has been a bad kristin
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
