My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
