So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
