bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
