I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
