please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
only if we run a train.
done.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
