it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the condom got lost in my hair
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
