I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
