Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
