so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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