Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
FUCK WHALES
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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