I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
