Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
