hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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