I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
