He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
