Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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