babies were throwing up all over the place
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
