You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
People in love make me want to vomit
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
