it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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