i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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