Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
