So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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