In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
