Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
