I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
