dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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