She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
