We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
