sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
