i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
