You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
