Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
