Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
