its not stalking. its research.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
