; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
