Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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