Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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