I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize