oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
