I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
