he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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