you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
