My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
