before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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