yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
