3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
