ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
