Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
