I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I faked an abortion last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
