He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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