I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
