matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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