Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
