Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's like iHOP with fire
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize