who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
