I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
