Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
